I heard that there was an office down by the pier. I thought "Office... internet?"

I walked across the island. My 'phone started beeping as I came into signal: oh, the joy of connection with the outside world!

I found the office, heavenly with its photocopier and lovely characterless blue chairs. Empty, but someone who works here downstairs in the shop - full of all shiny and colourful things like cereal boxes and reams of food packaging!

So here we are. I've never been so excited to get online and find that Britain hasn't yet been destroyed by bird flu.